The other night I witnessed the most magnificent lightening storm -no, really, I have never lost myself to any such celestial, awe-provoking beauty for more than a few minutes. I laid down and must have stared at the sky in complete amazement for a good half hour. Some people feel and sense God's power in rainstorms -I often don't. Growing up my mom used to tell me that God was bowling in heaven whenever I heard thunder, now thunder just gets on my nerves and makes me a little tense for some reason. I also have never had a penchant for rain -I guess mostly because that means there is not a lot you can do outside and I love being outdoors. But the older get, the more I am starting to appreciate and love all types of weather even rain which is good since I am moving to Oregon soon. But this storm was only a far away lightening storm so you couldn't hear the thunder AND there was NO rain. And, because it was cloudy, you could not see the lightening bolts, only select clusters of clouds brilliantly lit up every couple of seconds -seriously, I can't remember the last time I really lost myself in such fascination with any natural wonder.
In that moment of fascination, I also felt a little frustration. Like many people, I feel closest to God in nature -in the natural world He created. As I stared at the sky, I felt frustrated. At first I felt frustrated because I couldn't figure out why I was feeling frustrated. I have never seen the sky so beautiful before but yet I wanted MORE. I felt very satisfied that I was able to witness such artwork before my eyes, but I also felt very unsatisfied. Then I realized that it wasn't the sky I was wanting more of, it was God that I wanted more of.
I kind of think lightening is like a little teaser or small glimpse of God's shekinah glory. I have seen some pretty incredible sunsets, waterfalls, and mountains -they're beautiful, they're great, they're breathtaking, but they're never completely satisfying. For me it's like I want to be a part of that sunset, waterfall, or mountain -I want to be a part of that kind of pure, faultless, untouched beauty but I can't because of my inherently sinful nature.
 |
| Connemara, Ireland -the most beautiful sunset I have ever witnessed |
As I stared at the lightening show, all I was able to do was lie there in utter amazement and frustration. I wanted to fully thank God and praise Him for all the beauty He has created but I couldn't find words adequate enough to give Him the praise He deserves. I desperately tried to wrap my mind around the fact that the God I was talking to was the God who was creating all those brilliant flashes of lightening before my eyes and deep down inside I knew this to be true...but it was one of those moments where you are just so flabbergasted that God would choose to love and care for people like us who can never create any sense of beauty that can compare to the beauty He has created that things aren't making logical sense and you are at a loss for words. In moments like these I am realizing more and more that it is OKAY to just stare in speechless amazement at God's creation than try to manufacture some words of praise simply because you feel the need for words.
