precarious cacophony

Around Christmas time I was do some heavy reading on the AIDS epidemic and afterward I felt incredibly frustrated -frustrated over the fact that I just read a lot of sobering stuff and I didn't know what to do about it and I couldn't find the adequate words to write what I was feeling. And then I wrote this which helped lessen some of my frustration: "Perhaps a major part of the frustration we experience as a result of failing to adequately or sufficiently express ourselves is because we may not be able to more loudly express ourselves than the thing that serves as the impetus for the expression." 

Today, that is how I felt. Like pretty much every day I have more thoughts racing through my head than I can count. Most of my thoughts make sense in my head but a much smaller fraction of them make sense in writing. Sometimes random thoughts lead to more random thoughts which then lead occasionally to some form of organization. Such as I was thinking just now....

We have so many words in the English language of which we can choose to express ourselves with. Compared with many other languages, English is richly comprised of all kinds of descriptive words and words that have multiple meanings. I often wish I could speak many other languages so I would have more ways and words of which to express myself. I am so looking forward to the day when all believers will surround the Lord's throne and in all their different languages praise Him -what a beautiful sound that will be! We can't even imagine how beautiful it will be because 1) we don't know all the different languages of the world which will take on a different meaning for us in heaven and 2) we have never heard all the languages spoken simultaneously and if you have it probably sounded like a really annoying, very harsh and unpleasant cacophonous sound which won't exist in heaven. 

Many people find that they are able to express themselves better and more freely in music. Music without lyrics is often the most powerful of all. Words are limiting -they provoke certain feelings or emotions, they recall various memories, and sometimes they stir stereotypes. This is why wordless worship is so important in fostering spiritual growth and intimacy -we aren't confined by our words. I often do my best thinking and praying in silence. I pray best not only in silence but with silence. I so oftentimes find words so inadequate that they are practically useless. However, I won't deny the power of words or their important place in time of need, but let's give a moment of silence -to silence. 

So I discovered this quote the other day in this book I am currently reading and I think it fits nicely here:

Prayer without words is not so much expressing our dependence on God, but rather experiencing it and being so overwhelmed by that experience that words become so inadequate that they are useless. Nor are they really needed. Silence alone is appropriate. Wordless prayer is a kind of firm foundation for prayer with words. For without this deep awareness of God's dynamic presence in our lives, which comes with wordless prayer, we would probably become restless and uncertain in our prayer life (wondering whether we are doing it properly, worrying about our distractedness, etc.) With wordless prayer as the secure root of our spirituality, we shall never become overanxious (at least never for long), because we shall know that we are in God and so is all else that is. This is what really matters: all reality is charged with the glory of God's presence. -William Shannon

So my train of thought continued...words are inadequate, languages are inadequate -even all the languages of the world, music is inadequate but when we get to heaven, we will hear the most beautiful music of all of God's people singing together in one Spirit and to think we can't even comprehend on this side of heaven how beautiful that will be let alone even begin to fathom the beauty of God in all His glory....it is no wonder we get so frustrated with trying to adequately express ourselves with all our silly human words.

Freedom isn't free, but is it freeing?

a girls' school in Antigua, Guatemala

As I was walking my dog early this morning I observed a recreational aircraft flying overhead. I thought about how I could probably be a pilot if I wanted to be –not that I would want to be a commercial pilot but it would be cool to have my aviator’s license. Here in the States we have so much freedom to do almost anything we want within reason and become practically whoever we want to be within reason. The more I contemplated this idea of freedom –and I am not strictly speaking “freedom” as in having political independence –the more I realized that freedom isn’t really “freeing” in the sense that we would like it to be.

We are told that “the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil” (1 Timothy 6:10). It’s kind of ironic to think how more money usually leads to more “freedom” but more “freedom” doesn’t necessarily mean one is more “freed.” Not that more money and hence more freedom always lead to more worry, more comparison, more greed, etc. but that is often the natural pattern.

As psychological beings we often reason that whatever choice we make between two equally good options that it was the best choice in order to lessen any cognitive dissonance we often experience after the decision is made. However, in the backs of our minds we are always questioning whether we should have became a doctor instead of a lawyer or if we should have bought a boat instead of a new car or if we should have vacationed in Switzerland instead of Sweden. With such an endless array of choices to be made, how can we ever achieve full contentment? True “freedom” is only found in Jesus Christ and it is only through Him that we can really escape this American illusion of “freedom.”

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love” (Galatians 5:13).

Whenever I think about my time in Guatemala I keep picturing all these little orphans who owned not one thing in this world but still donned the biggest smiles I have ever seen. They have very little freedom in our sense of the word freedom but they possessed the most freeing spirit I have ever seen. 

A Revival of Revival?

I just read an interesting article entitled “Jesus as “Lover”?” which describes the new, unbiblical Christian movement of switching focus from having the agape kind of love for Jesus to possessing a kind of eros love for Him. Of course this “Jesus as a Lover” doctrine doesn’t seem as twisted when you phrase it as “yearning for greater intimacy or emotional attachment” than when you use the words “eros” over “agape.”  

Andrew Strom, the guy who wrote the article, points out how ironic it is that many people who are drawn to this doctrine are “seeking Revival.” They really believe that this is the kind of “intimacy” God desires. Coincidentally, there has been a recent influx of Song of Solomon type themed songs. Although Strom would argue that these people take being the “Bride” of Christ as to mean we are to have the same kind of passion an earthly husband and wife have for each other, I am not sure most people espousing this doctrine view it to that same degree. I have witnessed this movement, however, and, as with all new movements, it is worthy of examination because of the “Revival” impact it is creating.

This article was written by a guy who has studied revival for many years. He finds their talk of revival ironic given the old Revivalists prayed to a God who is very different than what is described here. Understanding “who God is” is at the crux of obtaining Revival.

Strom writes:

They prayed to a God of holiness and majesty and awe –a God of glory who hates sin, yet sent His son to die for sinners. The God that the old Revivalists prayed to was the "throneroom" God that Isaiah described- "I saw also the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple... And one cried to another and said, Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts: The whole earth is full of his glory. And the posts of the door moved at the voice of him that cried, and the house was filled with smoke." (Is 6:1-5).

This is the "throneroom" God who is described again in Revelation chapter 4 - where we are told that the four beasts cry, "Holy, holy, holy" day and night without ceasing, and the 24 elders cast down their crowns before His throne - over and over again. It is "HOLINESS" that is the chief characteristic of God! No other characteristic is ever repeated three times together in the Bible - let alone over and over, day and night! -"HOLY, HOLY, HOLY."

And actually, the full title of the book of Revelation is the "Revelation of Jesus Christ". So in other words, it is a 'revealing' of who Jesus is and what He is really like. And when John (the 'beloved' disciple) first sees the glorified Christ in Revelation 1, we are told that such is His terror-inducing holiness and glory that John fell at his feet "as though dead." -This is the true Jesus - as He really is.

In every true Revival, it is the God of majesty who reveals himself. For Revival is the "Glory of God" coming down. It is His very 'throneroom' presence coming down amongst men. Thus, even His own children should approach Him with awe. And if we do not pray to this God, then we should not expect Revival at all. -That is one of the basic lessons of Revival history. -We must pray to the 'RIGHT GOD' if we are going to see true Revival.

Incidentally, the 'Bride of Christ' in Revelation is described as a 'holy city' - a "new Jerusalem" coming down from heaven. (Rev 21). So it is clearly a 'CORPORATE' entity that exists at the end of the age. -Not some individualized "girlfriend of Jesus" in the here-and-now.

It is a very serious thing to tamper with our understanding of 'WHO GOD IS' and how we relate to Him. In a lot of ways it is like preaching "another Jesus". -It really is that bad. If you hear phrases today like 'Lovesick for Jesus', 'Bridal Paradigm', "Bridal intimacy", "Inflamed heart", 'Romancing', "Ravished", 'Fascinated', etc, then you can be pretty sure that you are being exposed to this deceptive doctrine. I believe it is serious error, and I urge you to flee from it as far as you can, my friends.

belief in God is ingrained in our human nature

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/is-belief-in-god-ingrained-in-our-human-nature-a-new-study-says-so/

Preach the gospel always, but never underestimate the value of words.

Today as I was lying on a stretcher hooked up to an electrocardiogram machine, I found myself completely enmeshed in a very lively conversation with the nurse performing this diagnostic procedure. Well, basically it was the extremely vivacious nurse who spoke most of the morphemes of this conversation –that is not to say that my utterances were largely comprised of phonemes only but rather she carried the weight of the conversation. Although it was quite the difficult task to utter any morphemes anyways so I was lucky if I got out any simple phonemes.

As soon as I met this woman I could tell she needed a listening ear but more importantly she needed hope, prayer, unconditional love -a relationship with her heavenly Father. Throughout the whole 15 minutes she performed my EKG, she ranted and raved over how upset and angry she is with her work environment –how frustrated she is with her “lazy” secretaries, how she never has time to take a lunch break, how overworked she is. All I could do was just listen to her and try to empathize with her –I definitely felt like a clinical psychologist in training. I sensed this woman’s frustration and anger and I sensed her deep need for a Savior; however, I could not quite find the right words to say to her (not that she gave me much of an opportunity in getting any words in edgewise anyway). Before I left I wanted to say something like “I will pray for you” (because I did and wanted her to know) but I was afraid of how she would take it.

Fortunately, God provided me with another encounter with this woman –or perhaps it was a second chance to witness to her? I had to come back in the afternoon for my echocardiogram since she didn’t have an opening in the morning. In the hours between these meetings I couldn’t stop thinking about and praying for this desperate woman and want I might say to her.

When I came back for my echocardiogram, her mood seemed to have improved immensely. The continued rant only lasted five minutes, after this, we dived into a plethora of topics from everything to European travel to politics to economics –everything but religion. And then, the moment I have been waiting for, finally came! As we were talking about the paradox of how the seemingly healthy die young while those who live dangerously unhealthy and destructive lives seem to hang on forever, she then commented that she believes our lives our numbered by God. The woman then quickly mentioned that she is Greek Orthodox as to give a reason for her previous statement. Because of the finality in the tone of voice she used, I took this as she did not want to talk about religion or that maybe she did –because she was quite loquacious –but didn’t want to offend me if I had a differing religious belief. Now that I am at home, reflecting on this conversation, I am kicking myself for thinking the former and not seizing the opportunity to share what I believe no matter what the outcome. In the moment, I couldn’t think fast enough before she moved on to a different topic.

This encounter got me thinking about witnessing in general. Why didn’t I deliberately share with this woman how much God really loved her –not for all her life’s mistakes (messy divorce, job dissatisfaction, family issues –she pretty much shared her life story with me) but for who she is? Why wasn’t I braver? I now feel incredibly guilty for not taking advantage of this opportunity. I feel guilty as if I was too ashamed of my faith to share it but I know I am not ashamed of it. But if we are not at all ashamed to proclaim His name, why don’t we do it more often? I know my greatest fear is saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. I am very afraid that I might say something that will turn someone off even more if they are already somewhat turned off to Christianity. I do not want to take any responsibility for turning someone more away from Christ –the only One who can save them. Instead of turning them more away, I rather play it safe and not say anything at all. My problem is relying too much upon my own ability to think of what to say instead of relying more upon God to supply my words.

I have always liked St. Francis of Assisi’s quote: “Preach the gospel always, if necessary use words.” My unabated skepticism for why I have always liked it was only further proven when I realized that my liking of it was related to the comfort it gave me. Witnessing (the kind involving the utilization of the vocal cords) calls most people out of their comfort zone. I wonder how often people excuse their lack of verbally sharing the gospel by believing people will be transformed simply by observing their good deeds. I wonder if that woman could sense that I was different. I wonder if words were necessary in this situation. A lot of people do good works and show acts of love but not everyone is a true believer.