New Zealanders really know how to blog –I mean like the last 15 blogs I looked at were so beautifully artistic and thoughtful. They also really know how to utilize blogging as a device to share their ideas and thoughts. Normally I hardly spend much time perusing strangers’ blogs but I stumbled upon this one super cool New Zealander’s blog when researching the history of the song Here Comes the Sun (which I think is like my favorite song ever….I love how it isn’t just a sappy song but it’s so real and genuine). If you are looking for some justification for the time you spend looking at these blogs just think about how you are becoming so much more culturally literate because there seriously is so much culture in some of them.
Anyway a year ago I would have never written the above paragraph in a blog because who would want to read what I think about Here Comes the Sun and New Zealanders? Unless I had something to say that was really insightful, meaningful, or interesting about George Harrison’s masterpiece of a song than who cares if I happen to really like this song, millions of other people like this song too.
Every time I listen to this song I just get so inspired. It makes me want to go change the world or at least try to start changing it by walking down the street and smiling at every stranger I see….but here I sit in a comfy, leather armchair blogging about inspiration.
I am sure everyone at some point experiences such extreme inspiration that they don’t know what to do with it. While Here Comes the Sun gave me the inspiration to write about inspiration, the inspiration I daily live with is of an entirely different kind –it is the divine kind that we are all inherently born with, the kind that either leads us in the direction of further sanctification or further destruction. Perhaps “inspiration” is not the word I am looking for…love is a much better word…but I will use “inspiration” here to mean that feeling of “rebirth” where one is freshly awakened to a love that has always existed –it’s that realization that life is such a precious gift, a gift like no other, a gift that is short-lived, a gift that can easily be wasted if you aren’t constantly aware of the meaningless activities that fill so much of your daily life, a gift that must be taken seriously.
Although inspiration is a great feeling –a superb feeling, it does not feel so great when it is accompanied with great frustration. Living life completely for the glory of God is a calling we must take seriously. Every moment of our daily lives we should be asking ourselves: “Am I doing this for God’s glory or my own? Is this activity furthering His Kingdom?” The frustration I often feel when I experience this kind of “inspiration” comes about when I am unsure of what I should be doing at a given time.
I find the biggest frustration in life is this: there is just so much life to be lived and just not enough time to live it! There is so much I want to accomplish on a daily basis that I never to seem to get done. One reason I love summer break or any break from school is for the extra time I have to read all the books I want. Over this Christmas break I have already read five (relatively short) books and hope to read another five or so before it’s over. I spent most of yesterday reading about theophostic counseling (to see if I would want to some day incorporate that into my own eclectic counseling approach –by the way, this type of counseling, from what I read, appears to be more like heresy dressed as therapy). But, sometimes I feel so guilty for spending so much time reading and trying to educate myself on a particular topic. Because of my voracious reading habit, I can be perfectly content to sit in a room all day and just read with little outside interaction. I also love school (well, maybe not the structure of it) but I love learning for the sake of learning. God is glorified in us when we engage ourselves in an academic discipline whether it be spiritual or not. I believe He takes immense pleasure in our curiosity and insatiable desire to learn all we can about His creation. At the same time, He wants us to diligently study His Word. But, is it wrong to stay curled up by the fire with a C.S. Lewis book on a cold, blistery winter day when I could be passing out warm blankets and hot meals to the starving and shivering homeless on the streets of Chicago? Honestly, on a cold, winter day like today I think I rather choose Lewis over freezing my fingers off. I don’t want to get into legalism, but trying to figure out how to best use our time to serve Him in every day situations is a perplexing, demanding question that we must all ask ourselves.
Trying to figure out what the best outcome would be when choosing between two goods is very frustrating and I am not sure there is an easy answer. I can’t express the frustration I sometimes feel when I think that I have five years of grad school ahead of me and a couple hundred thousand dollars in tuition before I receive my doctorate –don’t get me wrong I love school and have blessed with the financial resources to continue my education and it is with great joy that I look forward to those years, but I can’t help but think how that time and money could be used in other ways in furthering His kingdom. Sure the point of this education is so that I can eventually be equipped with the knowledge and skills I need in order to help those struggling with mental illness. I often think about the analogy of how we are all running a race and whoever gets the prize wins. Sometimes I get a little jealous when I think about my friend who went into full-time missions after college graduation or the other friend who is now serving in the peace corps and I can’t help but wonder if those activities are allowing them to run the race better (maybe at the present moment they are?). I know the activity itself is not as important as the heart’s desire and motive behind the activity, but it’s the feeling that I should be doing something more right now that is so frustrating. Obviously God has positioned each of us in different places and stages in life and learning to be content in those stages is certainly challenging.
Learning contentment while at the same time trying to satisfy that “inspiration” is one frustrating experience. But perhaps God allows us to feel a moderate dose of frustration in order to help safeguard us against complacency. May we continue asking ourselves how we can make the most of today in bringing Him the glory that is due His name.
“Here comes the sun, and I say it’s all right.”
