Perhaps I find myself thinking a lot about this given the stage of life I am currently in but talk to anyone in any stage of life and you will find that while this kind of thinking may vary greatly in context given the age and situation of the person, the frequency of these kinds of thoughts does not vary. The kind of thinking I am referring to is more of an obsession of sorts –a domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, or desire. We all have an idea of how we want our lives to turn out, we all want to portray a certain image, and we all have desires or dreams we hope to someday obtain. Obviously, in order to survive, some thoughts about the future are necessary. It is the constantly recurrent thoughts that may be dubbed as worries or anxious thoughts perhaps over unrealized dreams or unmet expectations that I am more or less referring to.
Every person who has mental stability –as defined by our culture –is consumed by thoughts about the future. I would like to call this disease "terminal futurism." Everyone manifests this “disease” differently –some people who intentionally and habitually try to live boldly yet sagaciously in the moment are in stage 1 or 2 while the frequent fretters are more like in stages 3 or 4. “Remission” in this life is not possible; stage 1 is the ideal goal.
I think a good diagnostic test to determine what stage of terminal futurism a person is in is to ask them if they are ready for Jesus’ second coming if it was to happen today. A typical response (which is one I held on to for so long and I am still trying to let go of it more everyday) is “I can’t wait for Jesus to return! But first I want to graduate from college and then get married and then have children and then I would like to hold my grandchildren and then right before I get a terminal illness that will end my life -it is then that I would greatly welcome the rapture.” As my pastor said this morning, these things pale in comparison to eternal life with our Heavenly Father and if you don’t want the rapture to happen today then you don’t understand what it really means.
I think it is hard for most people to say that they really want the rapture to occur today, right now and not tomorrow because all we know is this life. While those of us who believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jesus is coming again, for the most part many of us really enjoy our daily lives. Sure there are some days when we wish the rapture will come immediately but there are usually many more days that we wish we can savor longer.
Personally I am looking forward, for the most part, to the next five years I will be spending in grad school. I would also like to get married and maybe adopt some kids some day. But more than earning my doctorate or getting married, it is what I would like to do with these dreams or goals. After graduation I hope to use my skills as a clinical psychologist to work in an underserved area specifically with a population of people who have been denied of social justice. It is also my prayer that God will provide me with a spouse only if it would make my ministry in which God places me to be more effective. I guess, at least for me, I feel there are seemingly bigger and greater things I wish to do with my future career to advance the Kingdom of God on earth –before the rapture comes. I guess I often feel burdened by guilty feelings for not doing more “kingdom” things now. Then I realize I am not crippled or prevented any less from serving God now just because I am living at home while substitute teaching during this “gap semester” before grad school; however, I get caught up thinking that I can touch more lives on a deeper level once I finish school. Perhaps this type of thinking puts me on a very debilitating stage of 3 or 4 of terminal futurism thinking.
Sometimes I wonder if it is possible for a little boy who strives to glorify God in every aspect of his life to earn more -or just as many -heavenly “crowns” then an elderly man who has lived a very full, Godly life. I guess this would depend on one’s definition of “crowns” which has always perplexed me. One of my former professors has a theory that these “crowns” might refer to relationships –the people we might get to see again because we shared the Gospel with them. In this case, the elderly man would have more crowns than the young boy. I think this is a very plausible theory. I also tend to think that these “crowns” refer to all the good works one has done –and, if this is the case, I honestly –kind of selfishly I guess you can say –want to stay on this earth as long as possible. But it is this kind of thinking -this futuristic thinking -where we look forward to the "day" when our life circumstances will allow us to do more for God's Kingdom than what we are doing now that handicaps us from actually living up to our God-given potential right now. While a bigger income down the road may allow an individual to give more away, at no point in one's life is one ever prevented from loving more.
